Matt - Life in LA

When I learned I was moving to Los Angeles, I didn’t expect glamour and celebrities at every corner. I didn’t picture fancy dinners on the Sunset Strip or sipping $13 cocktails by the beach in Orange Country. I certainly didn’t imagine making a lot of money – after all, the word “volunteer” isn’t in so fine a print in the job description. The day I made my decision and signed that contract, I thought I had a pretty good idea of the things I would be giving up and saying “no” to by accepting a year a Jesuit Volunteer.

What I didn’t expect was just how much I would be given or how much would be expected of me. [I find the things I miss most about Boston and love about L.A. are different than what I thought they’d be.]

In many ways, my life includes your typical 9-5 workday and time at home with my roommates. On the surface, it appears to be only that: paperwork, meetings, and commuter traffic, chores, waiting for the bathroom, and watching TV. But my work is so much more than a job and my roommates aren’t just people I share a roof with. Together, my placement and my community breathe life into my experience.

At work, I am challenged on a daily basis to reexamine my faith and it how it shapes the way I see the world around me. My clients are former gang members, convicted criminals, and people who I would have grown silent as I passed three months ago. Today, I am asked to get to know them, listen to their stories, and work with them without judgment. You see, I work with the robber and the robbed, the victim and the victimizer. Almost all of my clients have been shot or shot at, and several more have used a gun themselves.

Sometimes the stories are difficult to hear and I almost wish I didn’t know what my clients have been through, witnessed, or done. But then I remember that for many of my clients, this is the first time they’re telling anyone not wearing a badge, suit, or robe such events of their life.

It’s been a lesson in listening, and humility.

Coming home from my placement isn’t the end of my day, but the beginning of an equally important part of life as a JV: community living. Living in community is different than living with roommates. You share a living space with roommates, but in intentional community your living space becomes a living space. Its very function is to breathe life into a place that for too many of us is a place of only seclusion and sleep. We eat together, pray together, share struggles with work and relationships, and, perhaps most importantly, keep one another from getting too comfortable.

The weather and the schedule are adjustments, for sure, but it’s the demand of my placement and community that I’m most challenged by – and most grateful for. Though I’m worn our by the time my head finally hits the pillow, I go to sleep grateful that my exhaustion comes from exercising not only my body and mind hard at work but my heart and soul when I’m at home.

These are the early goings of one Jesuit Volunteer. I look forward to continuing the conversation.

Paz,
Matty

Matt Carroll is a blogger for Jesuit Volunteer Corps. He welcomes questions and comments at Matthew.carroll.86@gmail.com.

Gisella - Lessons I learned at AFG

It has been six months since I started working at Alternatives for Girls (AFG) and after all this time has passed, I could not see myself anywhere else. AFG is a shelter for homeless women aged 15-21. My job requires a lot of energy and flexibility because I never know when one of my clients will need something from me. As a case planner I assist the young ladies under my care in managing their lives. (At the same time, I am attempting to manage my own!) Even though my clients don’t realize it, we are both trying to make the most out of our lives, and so we can help each other to grow.

I have learned many valuable lessons while working with these homeless young ladies. First of all they have taught me that being present to them and their needs can be enough for them. Sometimes I wish I could do something when my clients come and talk to me about all their problems but as one of my clients told me, the fact that I can be there for them, to hear them when they need me, is enough. This has been a difficult lesson because I wish I could do something tangible, something that I can see helps to take their pain away. However, thanks to my client, I have learned that by being present I am doing a lot, even if I don’t realize it at first.

Another thing I have learned is the real value of sharing. I always thought I knew what sharing meant until I had a profound experience with one of my clients. One day when I was assisting my client with an online job search, I mentioned I was hungry, not expecting any response. Without hesitation my client said she had her Bridge card (food stamps card) with her, and that she would walk to the store a block away to buy me some food. I told her not to worry about it, but in my mind I couldn’t help but think how a young lady who has only $155 a month for food was willing to spend it on me when I said I was hungry, even though that act of kindness might mean she would have no food the next day. I thought about this incident for a while and wondered if I would have done the same. I was ashamed to realize that I would probably not have made the same offer. This young lady taught me a lesson on the value of sharing that I will never forget.

One final lesson I have learned from working at AFG is the value of being part of the daily lives of the people I serve. Due to the loss of some grants I had to work an RA shift in the homeless shelter. At first I was a little hesitant about it because the shift includes staying until 10pm on Thursday nights. What I didn’t realize was how much I would end up loving being an RA for the girls. Because I stay with them throughout one full day I am able to share with them in meals, playing games and the task I love the most: taking care of babies J. When I came to the shelter there were 5 pregnant ladies and now all the babies are born. It is such a blessing to be part of their lives, to be able to feed them, burp them (yes, babies need to be burped often – who knew!), read to them and even become mother number four to a very special baby. Kenyon is the baby of the first young lady I met as I started my job; it is for that reason that I feel such a strong connection with him. He is now a big baby, 5 months old, and yesterday we had his first photo session eating real food!!! Enjoy the pictures of my babies that bring so much joy to my JVC life.

Learn more about Gisella here.

Kathleen - On the Job

Flexibility. That is the key.

It is difficult to explain what my job entails, much less a “day in the life.” Every day is different and something unexpected often comes up. My job entails many different responsibilities and it’s often a juggling act.

One highlight of my week is the ESL class. As a not-for-profit women’s center, we don’t have too much money for English books, and I haven’t found an ESL book that I like—most are aimed at kids and don’t incorporate the day to day English we use. So I am always thinking about the language and terminology I use. It’s pretty easy in El Paso; I just ask myself if I know how to do everyday things in Spanish, and create a lesson out of that. How do I find out the bus route I need to get to work? How can tell a doctor when I don’t feel well? How can I sell something to a customer? After brainstorming lesson ideas, I start piecing together a lesson plan with handouts and activities. Often, they are so itching for knowledge that I spend the class answering questions. A big one is the pronunciation of words that sound similar, such as: beer, bear, bird, board, bored, and border. Sometimes I wonder if they actually are learning as I contort my face with the different vowel sounds and try to think of motions to help them remember—beer has a guttural sound, so I act like I have a big belly; bird has an airy vowel sound, so I flap little wings as I say it; bored sounds like a yawn. It all makes me think of our language as mouth candy and understand why it is confusing to go from a language that has five vowel sounds to one that has numerous sounds with different spellings (ever think about how you pronounce bought, through, and rough differently even though they all have “–ough” at the end?).

Taking programs to other agencies in El Paso has also been a wonderful part of my week. Mondays, I ride my bike to the bridge (maybe 1 ½ miles), walk across to Cuidad Juaréz, and take the bus out to Siglo XXI (a neighborhood in Cd. Juaréz that lacks infrastructure) to meet with the women there. It is always strange to ride the bus along the Rio Grande, staring at El Paso’s skyscrapers looming behind the fences, trains, and Border Patrol cars. I cannot imagine what it would be like to see the disparities every day—to hear that education in El Paso is affordable, to know that some food in El Paso costs less because they have Wal-Mart, to see El Paso’s buildings seem cleaner and well-maintained—and all that naturally separates you is a river.

The women meet in a little chapel when they can to make crafts, watercolor, or just talk about life. They are a support to one another, and I have been so fortunate that they let me walk with them. They are teaching me a lot about how Americans are viewed and how the border and American economic policies affect their lives.

Another group of women have also let me into their lives to see the challenges they face. Twice a week I facilitate an arts and crafts class at the Opportunity Center, a shelter that essentially takes in the most marginalized—those who have been turned away from other shelters in El Paso. Some days, the women are in bad moods. It’s hard to have nearly 20 women sleeping on mats in a space the size of my living room. Those days, I might make some origami by myself or paint with one other woman. Other days, the women are happy and talkative. It helps that I am not on staff at the Opportunity Center; they have nothing to lose by unloading on me. I hope they enjoy the time to just do something with their hands and be creative, since many say they don’t have much going on. They give me a lot to think about as far as the connection between mental health and homelessness and prison, as many of them have chemical imbalances.

I have been inspired by the strong women I meet with for our self-esteem workshop. They all have so much power. My role is to pose questions or do different activities to get the women thinking about their lives and talking to one another. I am not there to tell them what they need; they have it already in each other. I have been so fortunate to be alongside these women as they share personal stories and encourage one another to use the power they have.

There is so much more to this job than I can fully describe in a blog, but the women I have had the pleasure of accompanying have given me much more than I could ever give them.

Learn more about Kathleen here.

Daniel - A Day at LINK

The other day I was having the typical morning at LINK Community School. I arrived barely on time, cold and hoping to learn from the mistakes I made the day before. I kept telling myself that today I would actually give a detention to every kid that said, "shut-up" or rolled their eyes or sighed when I gave directions to the class. Or, today I would make sure that I was constantly present in every conversation I had with a child. These seem like pretty strait forward goals, and yet, they become so difficult. I'm halfway through my day and I realize that I've lost. Conversation after conversation become one long day, and at the end, I stand in front of an empty class asking myself, "Did I reach them today?" "Did I make a difference?" Will I ever know the answers to these questions?

These are the thoughts that greet me each afternoon, but thankfully I have found a release. Beginning about two weeks ago I began working everyday with the 7th and 8th grade girls and boys basketball teams. (For those that don't know me, I love basketball. I have been playing competitively and for fun for nearly 14 years, beginning in the 3rd grade). My role on the LINK staff is the assistant coach, a position of authority--but the role of disciplinarian and all-around tough guy is reserved for Coach Jones. It’s at this point that I can talk to the kids about something they love and make them appreciate it even more.

It’s a chance for me to talk about something I love and know. I feel like that's major part of being a successful teacher - when a teacher is passionate about a subject, not because they have to teach it, but because they love the subject itself. When the time comes for them to share their knowledge, it’s not a class/teacher scene, but a conversation between people. They bounce ideas and questions off each other to find the best understanding.

I've had one of these "conversations" recently. Cassie is not your typical/ideal student. She is not eager to pay attention to a teacher lecture about algebraic equations or scientific theories. But, mention basketball, and she is all ears. Sort of. She is a 13 year old girl, born and raised in Newark, New Jersey. You can't tell Cassie what to do; you just hope when you give her an assignment, all you get back is a sigh and a role of the eyes. It’s that, or she is out the door ready to do her own thing.

During a recent practice Cassie was taking several jump shots, becoming more and more frustrated with each subsequent miss. I walk over to the basket and begin rebounding for her. She misses again and is ready to chuck the ball through the ceiling. Luckily, I retrieve the ball first and calmly walk over to her. I hand her the ball and remind her that Steve Nash shot 1-9 the previous night and he has two MVPs under his belt. She nods her head reluctantly, takes the ball, and then we begin to talk about her form. We decide on a comfortable shot for her and test the results. She makes the first shot from twelve feet out. She makes the second. I pass her the ball and remind her to use her legs. She hits a third shot in a row. She begins to smile and quickly hides it, because for Cassie, she expects to make every shot. We work for another 25 minutes. She takes nearly 60 shots. When practice ends, she jogs over to me and asks if we can work on her shot tomorrow after practice. I say yes, of course--trying to hold back my own beaming smile, less she find out exactly what that means to my heart.

Learn more about Daniel here.

Kate - On the Job

I work at the Lawyer’s Committee for Civil Rights, a non-profit law firm that offers free legal assistance in civil matters and litigates cases surrounding issues of race, class, and immigration. In the JVC application process, I applied for jobs very different from experiences I had already had, which is how I ended up with an office job in legal work as my first choice. I am much more of a direct services oriented person, but I am fascinated by law, and, while I do not see it as my career path, I do feel that it is an essential tool to social justice.

I also found it very hard to actually imagine the work you will be doing, day in and day out, based on the one paragraph descriptions you are given when choosing a job. I was explaining this frustration to my dad (why can’t we know more about the jobs that are about to determine a year of our lives), and he said that is part of the beauty of the experience: you are dedicating yourself to a year of service, and to whatever challenges and rewards that year brings.

These have been some of my challenges thus far:

· Getting use to an office job. This may not be difficult for a lot of people, but it is hard for me to sit still, so I frequently have to walk before, during, and after work to get rid of excess energy.

· Phone Connections. A lot of my interaction with people is on the phone, which is different than what I am used to. I sometimes feel as though I would prefer more direct one-on-one contact with clients because that is more emotionally draining and I want to be challenged. The lack of that contact is just due to the nature of the job. It is also good to realize all the non-direct work that needs to go on in order for direct services to be possible.

· Realizing sometimes you just can’t help, nor can you change systems that are unjust overnight. I have heard a multitude of life stories that echo this point, but there is not the space to write about them.

And these are some of the rewards:

· Personal Education. I feel as though I have learned so much about law and the challenges faced by people who are not listened to in society. Also, because I am not in constant contact with clients I have both the time and energy to really listen to their problems and sometimes I think listening is in itself a service.

· Great Supervision. By this I mean I was set-up to be successful, but at the same time, nobody is micro-managing, so I feel ownership in my work. Early on I mentioned my desire for more direct service to my supervisor, and was immediately given a list of projects I could work on that fit my needs. I feel as though my agency has gone out of their way to make sure I am happy here.

· The people I work with. Every single person in my office (18 staff) continually amazes me with their commitment to a better world, their humbleness, their work ethic, their ability to be light-hearted and yet still really care, and so much more. The first day I was told, “We’re like one big family here” and it really feels that way. Even though I am new here and here only for a year, people treat me as if I know just as much as anybody else (even though I don’t). I feel very lucky and grateful to work with such phenomenal people.

Learn more about Kate here.