Kate - On Faith

I came to JVC seeking both reconciliation with the Catholic faith of my childhood and absolute fear that JVC would brainwash me into "becoming Catholic".

I was raised Catholic, but from a very social justice orientation. I attended gay right protests, woke up to migrant workers sleeping in our playroom, and by the 2nd grade had written a book on racism and sexism. At the same time, I did not make the connection between justice and faith. What I remember about faith was receiving a Bible in preparation for my First Communion and randomly flipping it open to the section about how a wife should obey her husband. I couldn't believe that this was the book everyone believed in. In my First Communion class, I also asked the teacher if we could change the Lord's prayer (not knowing you can't change it) to say as we TRY to forgive those who trespass against us, because we don't always forgive them. Religion and I were not off to a good start.

As I grew older, I drifted from Catholicism but maintained a belief in justice. I still considered myself a very spiritual person, but it was mostly a personal practice for me. When I thought of Christianity I immediately thought of anti-gay, anti women-rights, and generally close-minded people. I must admit that I came to JVC with these prejudices. At the same time, I believed so strongly in the four values, and I genuinely wanted reconciliation with Catholicism.

What I have loved about spirituality within JVC is that I feel as though I am given the space and the time to explore it fully. No one is telling me: "This is what you have to believe". Instead they are asking, "What is it you believe?" How do those beliefs sustain you? What can you do to go deeper into faith? I feel as though so often in our lives we are not given the time and space to ask these questions, and yet JVC asks that we do.

There are many different things I have come to understand about Catholicism this year. I have met so many incredible people who identify as Catholic or Christian, thus shattering my pre-conceived notions about what it means to be religious. I have loved the connection to social justice and the idea of approaching justice from a faith-based place. This connection is one of hope; and I feel that it is hope that ultimately allows me to keep doing this work even in moments of despair.

At the same time, I am not sure I want to identify as Catholic. Sometimes I go to Church and feel very much at peace, and other times I just get angry. Why would I want to be part of something that is telling me women are second-class citizens? Why would I want to be part of an institution that is against gay marriage? If I say I am Catholic, aren’t I automatically saying I am these things too?

I suppose as with any institution, the Catholic Church is not perfect. And it will never change if everyone who disagrees with it as a whole just chooses to leave. I can chose to either fight from the inside or from the outside. I can say: I am not Catholic because there are some issues I institutionally do not agree with and therefore do not want to be identified with, or I can say: I am Catholic, and I want others to understand that to be Catholic is ultimately about the people and the message and not necessarily the institution.

I haven't yet decided where I want to stand. I do know there is so much more I want to learn about Catholicism, and that I love having a community element to my spirituality. I suppose my reconciliation is this: to be Catholic should ultimately be a call to radically love. If you go to the Gospels, and look right at Jesus' message, it is pretty radical and beautiful. It is a call to love all people, to recognize their human dignity, and to especially recognize that in the people who have been marginalized by society. It is a message of hospitality and the idea that we are all family. And I personally don’t think you need to believe in Jesus to believe in these things. I think faith in something, whether it is god or humanity or this earth, ultimately should be a call to radically love one another.

Learn more about Kate here.